The Girl In The Mirror

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There’s this girl I came to know as a kid. She wasn’t one to stand out in crowd and I have a feeling she liked it that way. She had lovely dark brown eyes set in a very beautiful, cherub-like face. Her smile, oh, such a heart melting smile she had. But unfortunately she often had a serious, sad look on her face, her blinding smile was a rare affair. Looking into her eyes, I could see a sea of sadness. What was she so sad about? We never really knew, cuz she never really spoke. Her contribution to any group discussion was a nod, a half smile or a monosyllable. But I knew, she had a lot to say…probably so much that she could never put them into words in time.

I was often intrigued by this girl. I would see her gaze wander into oblivion so often, like what was happening around her held no importance to her. Our childish games of make belief didn’t impress her much. But it seemed like she was stuck, there was no where else she could go. She was a girl, grown up too fast. Although she was only 10, she became a sound board for all our qualms, as petty as they were. She seemed to really listen, absorb. never interrupting us once until she felt we needed her opinion.

Being as she was we often forgot she would need us too. It wasn’t easy to get her to talk about herself but somewhere we forgot it wasn’t impossible either. We soon grew used to having her in our lives just the way she was, quiet and always ready to hear us out. We realized too late that the strong 10 year old girl needed from us what she gave so freely to others. She needed friends that took time to help turn her million thoughts a second brain to calm down, help her put her deepest thoughts into words, put her deepest worries to rest. Somehow it didn’t feel like our job then. But today when I think about her, I am intrigued as to what must have happened to her today. Is she still the quiet, timid little girl? Or has she grown up to be one of the wisest minds and is still putting the world around her out of their miseries while not uttering a word about her often miserable life.

I still wonder from where did she get the strength to be this strong…so together when clearly her world was falling apart. Did she not trust us enough to let out her deepest secrets? Why was she so attached to her grief that she didn’t want to feel better? What experiences cause a 10 year old to behave like a 30 year old? Is it possible to feel that kind of grief in such a short span of life. I guess I will never have my questions answered as I was too late to probe. I just hope wherever she is, she has found peace and happiness and someone to share it with. No one should be that serious about life, especially not a kid.

STRENGTH GROWS IN THE MOMENTS WHEN YOU FEEL YOU CAN’T GO ON BUT YOU KEEP GOING ON ANYWAY..!

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The Power Within

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“Throw me to the wolves and I will return leading the pack!”                                                    ~~Anonymous~~

Not very long ago, I had a heart to heart with a friend which opened up my eyes. I was in a really happy phase of life then – perfect job, perfect love life, friends for life. I had the confidence that comes with being in the happy zone.

As I was sitting there, in the lobby of our hotel, waiting for my colleagues to join me, I felt like connecting to one particular friend of mine. We hadn’t spoken in a while, but she is one of those friends who you are always connected to even through long dry spells. After the general banter I soon realised that I didn’t feel the same energy coming from her. She is atleast 20 yrs my senior, working, independent lady, married and happy. Atleast that’s what I thought. On probing further little by little this amazingly beautiful person that I knew started to open up about the darkness in her life.

It was then that she told me that she had separated from her husband a few years ago. She lived alone with her daughter while the son lived with the father. She independently raised her daughter and slogged between jobs to put her daughter through school and college. But that’s not where her ordeal was bad. The worst part about all this was the ordeal her husband and son put her through day in and day out even after separating.

For my friend to separate from her husband was a very bold and risky step as she had no job, no source of income and no support system as her husband had pulverised her confidence over the years of their marriage.But once out she realised that wasn’t her only hardship. Whenever she tried to apply for a job her husband made sure it went away somehow. He bad mouthed her everywhere she tried to go – whether for job or to stay with her daughter. And worse for her a lot of men tried taking advantage of her in disguise of being her well wishers.

But today after years of taking abuse and living in the shadow of darkness, I don’t see a shade of grief. Everytime I see her, I see this beautiful woman, so full of hope and love! And I wondered out loud to her, “How do you manage to be so radiant and positive?” And her answer was quite simple really, she said,”I chose to feel radiant and positive! That’s the only choice I have in life.”

That summed up everything for me. It’s not your present life that decides your reality, it’s your outlook on life. What you feel within shows in every action of yours and sets ahead your future. So don’t let your present life decide what or who you are and where you want to go. Do things with love and be love.

The Wonder Back Cushion

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So one of my most successful buys from Amazon till now! I bought this pillow when I had immense back issues. See, most of my days are month are sitting at the desk. So it was only about time that in 3 years I screwed over my back completely because of my hunched back posture. And while all I required was to move around more and better my posture  – I was looking for something that would help me improve it.

Going through multiple sites and products I zeroed in on this particular one. Going by the reviews I had no doubt in my mind but it seemed a little pricey then. But after I bought it I can say it’s worth every penny! I have been using it for over 6 months now and have convinced almost 5 people in my office to buy the same product since!

Pros:

  1. Gives good support to lower back.
  2. Improves sitting posture
  3. The structure is light and breathable enabling the material to not heat up even with extensive use
  4. Memory Foam provides good cushion and retracts back to normal position once you get up
  5. Works well for even the High back boss chairs
  6. The back strap keeps the pillow in place and doesn’t let it slip
  7. Comes in 2 lively colors

Cons:

  1. Takes up quite a bit of room from the chair, so not advisable for small chairs.

 

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