“Throw me to the wolves and I will return leading the pack!” ~~Anonymous~~
Not very long ago, I had a heart to heart with a friend which opened up my eyes. I was in a really happy phase of life then – perfect job, perfect love life, friends for life. I had the confidence that comes with being in the happy zone.
As I was sitting there, in the lobby of our hotel, waiting for my colleagues to join me, I felt like connecting to one particular friend of mine. We hadn’t spoken in a while, but she is one of those friends who you are always connected to even through long dry spells. After the general banter I soon realised that I didn’t feel the same energy coming from her. She is atleast 20 yrs my senior, working, independent lady, married and happy. Atleast that’s what I thought. On probing further little by little this amazingly beautiful person that I knew started to open up about the darkness in her life.
It was then that she told me that she had separated from her husband a few years ago. She lived alone with her daughter while the son lived with the father. She independently raised her daughter and slogged between jobs to put her daughter through school and college. But that’s not where her ordeal was bad. The worst part about all this was the ordeal her husband and son put her through day in and day out even after separating.
For my friend to separate from her husband was a very bold and risky step as she had no job, no source of income and no support system as her husband had pulverised her confidence over the years of their marriage.But once out she realised that wasn’t her only hardship. Whenever she tried to apply for a job her husband made sure it went away somehow. He bad mouthed her everywhere she tried to go – whether for job or to stay with her daughter. And worse for her a lot of men tried taking advantage of her in disguise of being her well wishers.
But today after years of taking abuse and living in the shadow of darkness, I don’t see a shade of grief. Everytime I see her, I see this beautiful woman, so full of hope and love! And I wondered out loud to her, “How do you manage to be so radiant and positive?” And her answer was quite simple really, she said,”I chose to feel radiant and positive! That’s the only choice I have in life.”
That summed up everything for me. It’s not your present life that decides your reality, it’s your outlook on life. What you feel within shows in every action of yours and sets ahead your future. So don’t let your present life decide what or who you are and where you want to go. Do things with love and be love.
shvetta 