The Girl In The Mirror

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There’s this girl I came to know as a kid. She wasn’t one to stand out in crowd and I have a feeling she liked it that way. She had lovely dark brown eyes set in a very beautiful, cherub-like face. Her smile, oh, such a heart melting smile she had. But unfortunately she often had a serious, sad look on her face, her blinding smile was a rare affair. Looking into her eyes, I could see a sea of sadness. What was she so sad about? We never really knew, cuz she never really spoke. Her contribution to any group discussion was a nod, a half smile or a monosyllable. But I knew, she had a lot to say…probably so much that she could never put them into words in time.

I was often intrigued by this girl. I would see her gaze wander into oblivion so often, like what was happening around her held no importance to her. Our childish games of make belief didn’t impress her much. But it seemed like she was stuck, there was no where else she could go. She was a girl, grown up too fast. Although she was only 10, she became a sound board for all our qualms, as petty as they were. She seemed to really listen, absorb. never interrupting us once until she felt we needed her opinion.

Being as she was we often forgot she would need us too. It wasn’t easy to get her to talk about herself but somewhere we forgot it wasn’t impossible either. We soon grew used to having her in our lives just the way she was, quiet and always ready to hear us out. We realized too late that the strong 10 year old girl needed from us what she gave so freely to others. She needed friends that took time to help turn her million thoughts a second brain to calm down, help her put her deepest thoughts into words, put her deepest worries to rest. Somehow it didn’t feel like our job then. But today when I think about her, I am intrigued as to what must have happened to her today. Is she still the quiet, timid little girl? Or has she grown up to be one of the wisest minds and is still putting the world around her out of their miseries while not uttering a word about her often miserable life.

I still wonder from where did she get the strength to be this strong…so together when clearly her world was falling apart. Did she not trust us enough to let out her deepest secrets? Why was she so attached to her grief that she didn’t want to feel better? What experiences cause a 10 year old to behave like a 30 year old? Is it possible to feel that kind of grief in such a short span of life. I guess I will never have my questions answered as I was too late to probe. I just hope wherever she is, she has found peace and happiness and someone to share it with. No one should be that serious about life, especially not a kid.

STRENGTH GROWS IN THE MOMENTS WHEN YOU FEEL YOU CAN’T GO ON BUT YOU KEEP GOING ON ANYWAY..!

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The Happiness Project

I’m in a really down place right now… Don’t think it could go worse to the point that today I am getting anxiety attacks. So in a gist what’s so wrong in my life right now is that I am in love 🙂 And no, before you guys start booing my guy thinking he gave me pain, it’s not at all that. It’s the typical Indian problems.
So here goes…..

I am in love with this wonderful guy. We actually met one fine weekend at a friend’s beach birthday party, fell in love ( believe it or not) at first sight and we just knew this was some magical collision. Neither one of us had come there expecting anything other than to have a little fun and get away from the boredom of regular life. So the trip of Pondicherry and Mahabalipuram via Chennai was planned. It was by best friend’s birthday and I wasn’t going to say no even though it was a whole bunch of strangers that I had never even heard of before.

So I land in Chennai and get intorduced to a bunch of really nice and varied kinds of people. I met all but one that night. He was the guy I think I was supposed to come there for. You see this friend of mine had time and again asked me to come down for her birthday and it never actually materialised until that year. And my love ( *happywinks*) had shifted to Chennai for work that year. Happy coincidence I must say. It was so damn funny the way we met, never thought things will catapult like that ever!

So the whole gang had reached my friends place bright and early as we had a long drive ahead. And I was the last one to get ready and he was the first to be ready but last to arrive. And it just so happened beautifully that I came out of the washroom and he was somehow standing at the entrance to the room. I swear to God we were starting at each other for a couple of minutes going whoooaa! Finally reality check and we gave each other sheepish smiles, shook hands, introduced and went about our business. But surely that wasn’t the end of things.

The minute we landed in Pondicherry we turned out to be only people not there to get high on anything. While people laughed at us for being goodie goodie, we had the best of times laughing at them while they monkeyed around in their trance states! We started bonding there while keeping our distance! And the night in Pondicherry ended with a lot of scream singing to old 90s hits till our throats we soar. Next up was Mahabs where the real fairy dust was sprinkled all over us!
So in mahabs we got this really lovely little place right which was bang on the beach! And here is where the moonlit beach walks and some red wine did a whole lot of magic. The first time we held hands under the moonlit sky is something we both will never forget. Not to mention listening the alien stories, that we laughed our asses off to, of a friend who was very very high the night before. This was a spectacular night especially since none of us slept as we shared ghost stories all night and waited for the sun to rise.( Did I mention I violated some really big turtles who were lying upside down trying to lay eggs. I thought I was saving them …my bad)


And that weekend gave rise to most romantic one year of my life! Until this year of 2017! So now that we had established we wanted to be together we both realised we are in the age where we need to make things official. My boyfriend especially was really keen as his family wouldn’t let him rest in peace if he said otherwise. But it so happens that my family was in the mood of only the “otherwise” and there began this typical Indian melodrama.

So as the families fought in 2 different directions – one wanting immediate marriage and other wanting to pace it out, we both have been now stretched to last of wits! It’s been a year since this saga started with no end in sight yet! So I have decided to look at the good in life! Because that’s all I got in my hand right now! Until the universe decides to bless me again with that unrequited love I so felt last year! All I had to do then was enjoy the ride and completely trust in the universe. It took care of me as I’m guessing it is doing right now. So for the next weeks until things work in my favour I’m going to write some really endearing stories about all the lovely dear family that is part of my saga! No matter how life is today….I do really love them and they do really really love me!

Love and peace to all!! Hope I help myself get out of this rut with gratitude! 🙂

The Power Within

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“Throw me to the wolves and I will return leading the pack!”                                                    ~~Anonymous~~

Not very long ago, I had a heart to heart with a friend which opened up my eyes. I was in a really happy phase of life then – perfect job, perfect love life, friends for life. I had the confidence that comes with being in the happy zone.

As I was sitting there, in the lobby of our hotel, waiting for my colleagues to join me, I felt like connecting to one particular friend of mine. We hadn’t spoken in a while, but she is one of those friends who you are always connected to even through long dry spells. After the general banter I soon realised that I didn’t feel the same energy coming from her. She is atleast 20 yrs my senior, working, independent lady, married and happy. Atleast that’s what I thought. On probing further little by little this amazingly beautiful person that I knew started to open up about the darkness in her life.

It was then that she told me that she had separated from her husband a few years ago. She lived alone with her daughter while the son lived with the father. She independently raised her daughter and slogged between jobs to put her daughter through school and college. But that’s not where her ordeal was bad. The worst part about all this was the ordeal her husband and son put her through day in and day out even after separating.

For my friend to separate from her husband was a very bold and risky step as she had no job, no source of income and no support system as her husband had pulverised her confidence over the years of their marriage.But once out she realised that wasn’t her only hardship. Whenever she tried to apply for a job her husband made sure it went away somehow. He bad mouthed her everywhere she tried to go – whether for job or to stay with her daughter. And worse for her a lot of men tried taking advantage of her in disguise of being her well wishers.

But today after years of taking abuse and living in the shadow of darkness, I don’t see a shade of grief. Everytime I see her, I see this beautiful woman, so full of hope and love! And I wondered out loud to her, “How do you manage to be so radiant and positive?” And her answer was quite simple really, she said,”I chose to feel radiant and positive! That’s the only choice I have in life.”

That summed up everything for me. It’s not your present life that decides your reality, it’s your outlook on life. What you feel within shows in every action of yours and sets ahead your future. So don’t let your present life decide what or who you are and where you want to go. Do things with love and be love.

The Wonder Raise – Not Exactly a Surprise

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So in continuation to my initial post about how I manifested my dream job offer, comes this one! So there were many reasons why I decided to not take the chocolate cake with cherry topping. The one that topped the list was that I didn’t feel I had exhausted all learning opportunities that my current job had to offer. So when I decided to stay back I was happy with the opportunities I was getting in my job but the pay in comparison to what I was offered now seemed low. This made me wonder how much more I could have done with that kind of money(I must admit…most of it would have just gone into savings…but quite a bit of it would have been used for my love for travelling). So instead of sulking I decided to manifest! I wrote an increment letter to myself with the exact hike I desired to get. I calculated all aspects of my variables and decided to make it very believable. I photoshoped signatures on it, printed it on on letterhead of my company through my office printer ( I was really scared someone might read it before me, but that was such a “cheap thrill” like rush!)

So with this printed, fake yet believable appraisal letter tucked away nicely in an envelope branded with my company logo and my name, I would travel everywhere. I kept it in any handbag I chose to travel with. Every morning on my way to work I would read the appraisal letter. If I am travelling with someone I would read it on my phone. And this slowly got the belief in me that it is surely and absolutely possible for me to have exactly all those things I had listed out in the letter.

And finally, less than a month later I was called in by my boss to discuss my appraisal. And I opened the letter with such an excitement to see how I had favored in my belief. And to my absolute delight there it was! The exact figure that I had wished as my appraisal. Although the designation came in the next appraisal. But what I really wanted I got immediately 🙂 Keep believing in what you desire! It’s as simple as that!

Next up —> How I welcomed LOVE into my life

HOTTEST OVENS IN THE MARKET!

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So the Diwali Season is upon us! And everybody is out to redo their homes, appliance, uplift their wardrobes into more celebratory ones and basically feel all new! So i have decided to give all you guys out there some pointers on the hottest new products to consider for your homes this Diwali Season. First Edition starts with MIRCOWAVES! What with all the baking of sweets and heating of yum yuuuum food required, I thought that’s a good way to start shortlisting for steal deals during Diwali Offers that are sure to come up! So here goes:

  1. IFB 23BC4 23-Litre Convection Microwave Oven (Black/Floral Design)

     

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2. Morphy Richards 25CG with 200 ACM 25-Litre Convection Microwave (Silver)

 

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3. Godrej GME 25GP1 MKM 25-Litre Grill Microwave Oven

 

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4. LG MC-2143BPP 21-Litre 800-Watt Convection Microwave Oven (Red Dancing Floral)

 

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5. Kenstar KJ25CSG150 25-Litre Convection Microwave Oven (Silver)

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The Wonder Back Cushion

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So one of my most successful buys from Amazon till now! I bought this pillow when I had immense back issues. See, most of my days are month are sitting at the desk. So it was only about time that in 3 years I screwed over my back completely because of my hunched back posture. And while all I required was to move around more and better my posture  – I was looking for something that would help me improve it.

Going through multiple sites and products I zeroed in on this particular one. Going by the reviews I had no doubt in my mind but it seemed a little pricey then. But after I bought it I can say it’s worth every penny! I have been using it for over 6 months now and have convinced almost 5 people in my office to buy the same product since!

Pros:

  1. Gives good support to lower back.
  2. Improves sitting posture
  3. The structure is light and breathable enabling the material to not heat up even with extensive use
  4. Memory Foam provides good cushion and retracts back to normal position once you get up
  5. Works well for even the High back boss chairs
  6. The back strap keeps the pillow in place and doesn’t let it slip
  7. Comes in 2 lively colors

Cons:

  1. Takes up quite a bit of room from the chair, so not advisable for small chairs.

 

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Manifesting the Dream Job Offer!

“Success will be within your reach only when you start reaching out for it.”

I have been a huge fan of the Law of Attraction for a while now. It has got me through some of the most stickiest, toughest of times. The Law of Attraction entered my life in the time when I needed it the most; when I was vulnerable and lost. And there are many many stories I would enjoy sharing here today of those times. But we’ll keep that for another set of talks. Today I want to talk about how I have fun with the Law of Attraction now and manifest everything I want – just by believing that I already have it! That’s some really clean thought.

So one of them many fun things I have done with the help of LOA is manifest one of the best job offers till date. This was during the time I was feeling really bored with my job. I didn’t feel like there was any challenge left in the job, no spark. So I got to thinking – what if I got a job offer right now from one of the big firms of my industry? Sure doesn’t seem like a big thing to manifest but what you need to know is that at that time I had been working with my company only 7 Months! That’s it! That was my entire work experience. But that was the whole point of it. To imagine the unthinkable and make it happen!

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