There’s this girl I came to know as a kid. She wasn’t one to stand out in crowd and I have a feeling she liked it that way. She had lovely dark brown eyes set in a very beautiful, cherub-like face. Her smile, oh, such a heart melting smile she had. But unfortunately she often had a serious, sad look on her face, her blinding smile was a rare affair. Looking into her eyes, I could see a sea of sadness. What was she so sad about? We never really knew, cuz she never really spoke. Her contribution to any group discussion was a nod, a half smile or a monosyllable. But I knew, she had a lot to say…probably so much that she could never put them into words in time.
I was often intrigued by this girl. I would see her gaze wander into oblivion so often, like what was happening around her held no importance to her. Our childish games of make belief didn’t impress her much. But it seemed like she was stuck, there was no where else she could go. She was a girl, grown up too fast. Although she was only 10, she became a sound board for all our qualms, as petty as they were. She seemed to really listen, absorb. never interrupting us once until she felt we needed her opinion.
Being as she was we often forgot she would need us too. It wasn’t easy to get her to talk about herself but somewhere we forgot it wasn’t impossible either. We soon grew used to having her in our lives just the way she was, quiet and always ready to hear us out. We realized too late that the strong 10 year old girl needed from us what she gave so freely to others. She needed friends that took time to help turn her million thoughts a second brain to calm down, help her put her deepest thoughts into words, put her deepest worries to rest. Somehow it didn’t feel like our job then. But today when I think about her, I am intrigued as to what must have happened to her today. Is she still the quiet, timid little girl? Or has she grown up to be one of the wisest minds and is still putting the world around her out of their miseries while not uttering a word about her often miserable life.
I still wonder from where did she get the strength to be this strong…so together when clearly her world was falling apart. Did she not trust us enough to let out her deepest secrets? Why was she so attached to her grief that she didn’t want to feel better? What experiences cause a 10 year old to behave like a 30 year old? Is it possible to feel that kind of grief in such a short span of life. I guess I will never have my questions answered as I was too late to probe. I just hope wherever she is, she has found peace and happiness and someone to share it with. No one should be that serious about life, especially not a kid.
STRENGTH GROWS IN THE MOMENTS WHEN YOU FEEL YOU CAN’T GO ON BUT YOU KEEP GOING ON ANYWAY..!